2 months before Dear Husband and I got married, I stopped my birth control. I had been on it for nearly 8 years to help regulate my awful periods. They were so bad that I would vomit at the onset of cramps and frequently missed school. You’re welcome.

Anywho, prior to getting married (when DH was DF), we had a couple of pregnancy scares, which was extra scary considering that I was still in graduate school, but no babies. About 3 months after getting married, we started to really try for a baby. We assumed that conceiving would be as easy as buying pregnancy tests but so far it’s been an ordeal.

For the first 6 months, I tracked my temperatures using a basal body thermometer, which is more precise than a regular thermometer. I also took prenatal vitamins regularly. Nothing.

Then I changed up my diet a bit, trying to eat healthier, in addition to tracking my temperatures and taking prenatals. Nothing.

Month 7, along with everything else, I used ovulation predictor kits. It showed that I was ovulating, but there was yet another negative pregnancy test. At this point, I wanted to give up. I told DH I didn’t want kids because maybe that way I wouldn’t be so disappointed by the negative tests. He encouraged me to press on though.

Month 8, I reached out to a gynecologist. She said it was a little soon to be seeing her for infertility (12 straight months of trying without success is normally the marker) but she agreed to help. I found out that I had a short cycle (25 days as opposed to the standard 28) (I just realized I’m using a lot of parenthesis) and that I may have a short luteal phase. I already suspected the latter when I was temping, aka temperature tracking. Standard luteal phase is 12-14 days and mine was 8-10. One time it was only 7. Having a short luteal phase can be problematic because that means the uterus doesn’t have enough time to prepare for implantation before the menstrual cycle begins again.

Month 9, after the consultation, we had some renewed hope. We didn’t change anything and crossed our fingers that I would get pregnant. Nope.

Month 10, went back to my doc. She recommended that I get a hysterosalpingogram, aka HSG, to see if I had any blockages in my fallopian tubes. My doc said fertility increased in 30% of couples she referred to get an HSG. We had a bit of restored hope when she said that. DH got a sperm analysis done at the same time. The HSG was painful for me because I had a blocked tube. They also found that DH had a slightly low sperm count. All was not lost because Doc said I only needed one working tube. Then we lost hope after another negative test.

Month 11 and 12, I stopped doing everything except taking prenatals. We tried relaxing, not worrying about pregnancy, and baby danced (had sex) less often during my fertile window. 2 more negatives and 1 more trip to the Doc. Month 12 I was having a lot of pregnancy symptoms, which made it all the more difficult when I took the test. She suggested that I start using synthetic progesterone for my short luteal phase, and said I should get a sonogram as the HSG also picked up some sort of blockage in my uterus. As for the symptoms, Doc said I may have ovulated 2 eggs and could have had twins (!).

And that brings us to today. It’s Valentine’s Day and I saw the wrong kind of red. As a result, I’ll schedule that sonogram tomorrow and will yet again get poked and prodded in the hopes of supporting someone for 18 years. I started the progesterone today so I’m hoping I have a more normal period. This last cycle was inexplicably 23 days.

All of this stuff has made me depressed but my attitude has shifted. DH and I are enjoying our time together and with our cat. We’re taking more trips and planning on living in the trendy overpriced part of town instead of in ‘burbs. We’re in our late 20s and we’re taking life one day at a time. With or without baby.




  1. iwannabeamommy2 · March 27, 2016

    Thank you for sharing your story! I hope you don’t mind, I began following you 🙂


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