The Results are In

The doctor visit on Friday went okay. Turns out one of my hormone levels was half of what it was supposed to be, which is why the doctor said it was good that I was on such a high dose. And the vaginal pain was just dryness (“just”) and she said it was a normal side effect of Clomid. My ultrasound identified 2 follicles that were the ideal length so the doctor suggested I get an ovulation predictor kit to see when/if I ovulate. I’m skipping it though because I definitely do ovulate. Also found out that my uterus is a little tilted but the tech said that’s nothing to be too concerned about.

Speaking of results, DH and I ran a full 5k on Saturday and my legs still hurt. It was rather cold here and I damn near died on the trail. It’s been about a month since I ran outside and I struggled hard to make it through. Up until Saturday I had been doing about 2 miles at at time in the gym so I was gassed the last mile. I’ve got just under 2 months until race day so I have time to increase my mileage by about 10% a week. On the bright side, I hit my goal of doing 10 miles a week last week!

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Cranky Pants

I’m so frustrated.

This Clomid dose is taking a real toll on me. My mood has been all over the place (although that could be resulting from work stress) but the worst part is that I’ve been experiencing some vaginal pain, to the point that sitting is uncomfortable and toilet paper feels like sand paper. This sucks, considering I need my vagina to help me get pregnant. This only started when I went up on the dose but I’ll definitely bring this up when I see the doctor tomorrow morning.

Work has been a nightmare the last 2 weeks and it feels like it will remain awful for a few more weeks. There are a bunch of program launches happening soon and I’m leading one of them, so I have side projects in addition to the mountain of work I had starting the week. I hate consistently feeling like I’m a little less behind at the end of the day versus getting to a good stopping point. But I guess dem’s the breaks for now.

Running this morning was frustrating. I did 2 miles but I wanted to stop around .8 miles. I didn’t sleep well and I was having a hard time focusing. It relates back to work stress for the most part. I was hoping that running would help burn off some of that stress but it only added to it. My legs felt like heavy weights during most of the run and I was starting to feel hopeless about a 5k that DH and I are planning to run soon. On the positive side, I ran my first sub 13 minute mile in almost 5 months on Tuesday! My legs hurt a little bit after but it was so worth it. This weekend I plan to run outside for the first time in over a month. It’s going to be cold but I’m looking forward to getting back outside, especially since my times are historically better versus on the treadmill.

Speaking of this weekend, I had a nice talk with DH last night about shifting our priorities. Since the holidays (and honestly way before then too) we’ve been spending a lot of time around friends and family, which awesome, but not a ton of time doing things as a couple. I mean, we do things like buy groceries together but activities like exploring have dropped off. Plus, we’ve been on the go so much that our place had become a mess. It wasn’t a pig sty mind you, but clutter was everywhere. We’ve developed a bad habit of dropping our stuff anywhere and leaving it there until maybe the weekend because we had something to run to. I got fed up yesterday and tidied up. I felt much better as our space was way more functional. This weekend though, there is a big event this weekend that we had planned to go (and many of our friends are going to) but I finally had to draw a line. I’m already spent from work and not feeling up to it. DH wanted to go and I was thinking about mustering up some energy to go with him, but when I talk to my mom she suggested that DH go on his own. I normally wouldn’t care but considering the size of the event and how many friends would be there I would feel more comfortable going with him. It’s not that I don’t trust DH, it’s that he tends to get caught up in things and loses situational awareness. We talked last night though and I discussed with him making our marriage more of a priority. As much as we love our friends and our family, we have to start making more time for us. Fortunately, he was in agreement and said that it would be better to spend this weekend to ourselves. We’re going to try and spend one weekend a month together, in that we aren’t schedule to meet anyone anywhere. We’ll see how that works out but I’m looking forward to getting some rest this weekend.

The Call

Thursday I received a voicemail from my doctor saying that he got my latest lab results and said everything looked good except one thing. He didn’t say what it was but added that it was good that I went up on the Clomid. I called back Friday morning and left a message but I haven’t heard back yet. Regardless, I’m supposed to make an appointment this week to get a sonogram in order to see if my follicles are as active as they’re supposed to be. I swear, at this point I could start a second career as an OB/GYN. Anyway, I’m not too concerned since I seem to be on the right track by going on Clomid 100 mg.

In other news, I think I have picked my first 5k! I heard today that there is one hosted by a local sports team in March. That’s about when I was planning to run my first 5k so I’ll start training harder for it starting this week. Right now I’m averaging 1.5-1.75 miles per run so I’ll start pushing for 2 miles per run consistently this week. I’m excited for this race. The week after it I’m planning to finally take my licensure exam so March will be a very busy month!

 

The Quest

I have to say that I’m damn proud of myself. I went out with friends recently to a bar. Instead of ordering my typical heavy beer (8%+) I had a much lighter beer, and only finished half of my appetizer. I’ve had this strange strong motivation to get things done lately. Usually I’m pretty motivated to get things done but it’s pretty strong. For example, I’ve completing some tasks that I’ve been putting off, such as signing up for my licensure exam and getting my name changed on my passport. I’ve also worked out 4 days in a row, with the goal of going 5 days. While at the gym, I’ve been pushing myself hard. Take yesterday. My period started Tuesday so I was feeling rather blah yesterday when at the gym. However, after working with weights I decided to go for it and do a mile run. Unfortunately my time wasn’t great since I wasn’t wearing the right sports bra (more on that in a second) but I still did it and was off my typical pace by about 30 seconds. I’m at about 3 miles this week, with the goal of running 4 miles a week. I’m holding steady at a just-under 14 minute mile but I’m going to start focusing less on running a faster mile and more on distance. I’m hoping to get outside this weekend to continue training for a 5k. I haven’t picked a race yet but I’m aiming for March/April.

I’ve been on the hunt for a good sports bra since I’ve been working out more often. My boobs are on the larger side so it’s hard to find a good bra, not to mention a good (and not super pricey) sports bra. I own 2 decent ones but they’re almost literally hanging by a thread. I have sports bra that are fine for low impact activities but I decided I need to just have all high-impact bras since I may become suddenly inspired to work harder (like at the gym yesterday). After reading a bunch of reviews, I ordered an Under Armour sports bra online. It was described as a compression bra, meaning that it would hold your boobs in as support. Man, when that thing came in the mail I thought I had ordered a large rubber band by accident. I tried it on and it was essentially still a large rubber band, but with shoulder straps. Needless to say, I’m taking that shit back. It was very disappointing since Under Armour makes solid clothes. While waiting on getting my Clomid prescription filled, I went to Target and checked out their selections of sports bras. I bought 3 and will be taking 2 back. One of them is a front-zip sports bra. I unzipped it, put it on, and failed to re-zip it. Then I took it off and re-zipped it, but when I tried to put it back on it was not even trying to fit. Back in the bag it went. Then I tried on another bra with cups and it was nice, except there was an awkward clasp on the back. I realized that if I was having a hard time accessing that clasp when not sweaty, it would be damn near impossible without assistance to get to it post-workout. That one was also a nope. It’s frustrating trying to improve my health but getting stymied by not finding the right support. At least tops and bottoms aren’t as difficult to find, and I did manage to find a well-fitting bra.

Speaking of Clomid, I’m starting the 100mg dose today. I feel like we’re getting close to the end of the baby journey. The doctor wants me to do the 100mg this month and next, and if both fail then we may consider IUI or the trigger shot. I’m drawing the line there. We’ll see how things go.

 

The Follow Up

I took a much-needed self-care break today. Work has been a marathon the last 3 weeks so I had a “me” day, which included running, (I set another PR!), going to a spa, and following up with my doctor. Last week I finally got the bloodwork done and it appears that everything looked okay. We discussed next steps, which includes increasing Clomid to 100mg and going back in a few weeks for a sonogram to make sure the Clomid is stimulating my follicles enough. He suggested that I do 2 rounds of Clomid at this level. If it doesn’t work, I may need to get a shot to get things moving. The doctor also said future steps may include getting a IUI, meaning my husband’s sperm would be directly injected into my uterus, and if that doesn’t work then IVF. I haven’t talked to DH about my doctor visit yet but if the Clomid fails, I may try the shot but I’m drawing the line at IUI. I don’t want to do anything invasive like the test I had last spring. Honestly, I don’t care that much any more since this has been such an ordeal.